Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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