its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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