Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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