I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
