everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
