I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
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