Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
