Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I want to walk on stilts...naked
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
