she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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