Please, let me fuck your mom
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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