hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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