I feel great
I just peed on a car
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
