Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
