dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
