I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Randomize
