Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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