I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
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You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
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My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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