Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
