whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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