i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
