I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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