How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
My ATM looks so different sober.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
