sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
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