Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Randomize
