party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize