So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Randomize
