I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
