I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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