Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I have surprise drugs for everyone
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
