remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
