You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
