you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Randomize
