I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
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