you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I bet he comes in French.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
