No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
