Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
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