is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
