so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize