I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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