It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
