he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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