This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
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