Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
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I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
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Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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