I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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