omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
The power of my boobs compel you
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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