Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
