there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
No subtext here. People are naked.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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