I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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