Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
