Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
