It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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