Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
