the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
