I swear she didn't look like that last week.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
