so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry my hands just texted you
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Randomize