great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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