Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
