i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
no you cant smoke seaweed
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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