even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
