lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
