Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
