If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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