Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Randomize
