White coat. Heels.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
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She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
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He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
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